I Will Always Have Your Back
by Matt's Fics
Summary: Maybe Percy does need someone, maybe he doesnt want to fight this war anymore. After Tartarus, things changed but maybe Percy has some new friends to help too.


**Sometimes Percy couldn't see.** With the air thick in front of him and fog rolling off the ocean it was almost impossible to find anything barely a foot in front of you. And in the middle of the night, the mist partially hiding the hull of the Argo II from the coastline, Percy couldn't help feeling like it was hiding something else.

He felt every movement of the waves lapping against the celestial bronze plating along the ship and knew nothing was out of place, but in the back of his mind he couldn't release riptide from his grip. Knuckles white along the hilt, Percy held the sword closer letting the faint glow push away some of the darkness. _There's nothing there. Just my imagination._

The glow seemed to fade, Percy's mind wandered off. The mixture of fog and mist pressed closer, making the hairs on his neck stick up straight. Cold and darkness flushed around him.

He was back in the Acheron.

 _Give up. What are you compared to the rest of the seven?_ The current dragged him back, he forced the water to surge around him, but only managed to get farther from the shore.

Annabeth swam alongside him, her hand grasped tightly around his, somehow able to pull both of them where Percy couldn't even move himself. Her eyes met his, the usual hopefulness flickered out."You're not getting away from me that easily," she said with a sudden burst through the water. They started making ground, the cold river rushing past him, but the pain grabbed at their ankles trying to pull them back.

Annabeth held her face in concentration, gritting through her teeth. Her energy lasted for shorter and shorter bursts as a moan of pain left her mouth, trailed by a mass of bubbles, and her grip began to loosen. "Help me, Percy! Together! Always." They broke to the surface as Annabeth said it, but were quickly dragged under by the river. The more he tried, the more Percy felt like he was dragging Annabeth down.

"I...Annnabeth, I can't," the words fell out and her hand loosened again, barely touching, letting the pure pain of the river come between them. _You can't save her. You can't even save yourself._ The voices roared in his head, filling him with dread. _Give up!_

Annabeth's strength began to fail, her body swept past Percy with an arm outstretched towards him. "Percy! Please!"

The pain flowed through him. _You will always lose her. You cannot defeat them all._ He shot a hand towards her and brushed across her fingertips, just out of reach. They had one last touch before she swept into the blackness.

"Annabeth!" The scream rocked his throat. He felt the solid deck underneath his feet. Tears spilled onto the wood and he fell to his knees. Riptide lay carelessly to the side and Percy buried his face in his hands. His own thoughts came back. _You're not there anymore. You're safe. She is safe._

He picked up riptide and pulled himself up, feeling drained. The images always came like that. Always finding their way into his mind whenever life came anywhere close to darkness. Close to being alone.

The mist began to lessen and the night sky grew a little lighter, a faint spread of pale orange started to open up the sky. Day couldn't come fast enough.

"Percy?" The voice rang out over the Argo making him jump. He whipped around to where the door to the lower deck opened. Quickly, he wiped his face and stood a little taller.

"Oh. Hey Jason," Percy's voice cracked and he hung his head.

"You alright, Perce?" he hesitated, not wanting to press any further, but took a step towards Percy, "I thought something was attacking. I heard you scream."

Percy's sword hung limply in his arm and he shrugged. He wouldn't look up to meet Jason's eyes, scared that he would see the red patches under his eyes, the slight streaks down his face. A part of him wished it had been Annabeth, but the other wanted her to stay away from him. How could he keep her safe if he couldn't save himself?

Percy sat on one of the benches that lined the Argo. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scream. I thought I saw something. You know seaweed brain I guess," Percy laughed but the smile quickly faded and he stared over the edge at the waves.

Jason looked at him questioning, but if Percy wanted to share, he would. Ever since they got back from Tartarus something seemed off. Percy rarely volunteered for watch anymore, this actually being the first time since they fought their way to the Doors of Death.

"So, if you don't need me," he gestured back to the steps towards the cabins, "I'll just go back to-"

"No!" Percy jumped up almost as if to grab Jason and pull him back. He coughed, "I...I just mean...I could maybe use some help. Maybe I actually did see something," he lied. Jason just nodded understanding and made his way back towards Percy, smiling slightly.

Jason scooted in next to Percy on the bench. A piece of hair stuck straight up on his head and his clothes were wrinkled like he just threw them on. His sword was already out from when he rushed up on deck so he playfully pushed aside Percy's blade before flipping it back into a coin.

For a moment they sat together in silence. Jason noticed the tight grip, Percy had on his sword but didn't mention it. He saw the slashes in the wood where Percy must have lashed out, but he didn't mention it.

"Jason?" All the jokiness and silliness Percy usually had filtered out, nonexistent. He still didn't look up, but stared blankly at the deck.

"You know you're not alone in this. I can take over if you want to get some rest."

"No. I couldn't sleep anyway." His voiced drained away, falling to a grumbled whisper, "I don't need your help anyway. I'm supposed to be the one helping. I always have been."

Jason turned to look at him, but Percy's eyes were still fixed, unflinching, terrifying, but so scared.

"I know we're supposed to be rivals. Trust me, I know. Greeks and Romans. Neptune and Jupiter. Always apart, fighting each other, but we're a team first. You know that, right?"

"Yeah."

Percy's mind raced. How could he save Annabeth, if Jason had to come to _his_ rescue? He could barely even hold his sword, much less battle with it. Every time he tried the memories came back. Every swing filled with the weight of a thousand curses from the arai. Every surge of the ocean put him on the edge of chaos and misery. So what did he have left?

 _Jason_.

The one person he couldn't stand if he saw this part of him. If he let Jason see his vulnerability, let him see the pain from the Acheron, the burn from the phlegethon, the pity from the Lethe...

He couldn't let him know how much he was hurting just standing on this deck, waiting for the monsters of night. Because if he did, if this part of himself let go there would be nothing to fight for. Nothing left he _could_ fight for and at least Jason wouldn't come looking for his death.

So no. Percy would stand his ground. Hold back the river until it crushed him, but never let down his friends. They would always believe that this child of the Big Three would always have their back. If Jason could see the vulnerability, he would be stronger and his friends would turn to him to save the fight.

 _No. Jason is not stronger than me. He can never know. I will always save my friends...Even if my arm refuses to swing the sword._

But at that moment the one person that could save him from this nightmare, that could handle it was Jason.

The words came out before his mind caught up. "I can't do this anymore," Percy said before tilting his head up to finally look at Jason.

"Let me help you. You're not alone, Percy."

"I can't." The weight of everything crushed Percy, but he couldn't stop letting the answers spill out.

"Percy, I get it, alright-" Jason began to say before being cut off

"No. You don't," Percy's anger started to swell, but deep down he knew Jason did understand.

"You don't have to hold this responsibility by yourself," Jason continued.

"I'm a child of the Big Three, Jason. It's in the job description. Be the most powerful, save everyone, don't fail."

"You're not the only one," he wanted to say I am too. To pour out the feeling of overbearing power, but let Percy go.

"No, Jason. You have the Romans, but what do the Greeks have protecting them. It was my job. I can't let them down."

"And you haven't, Percy."

"NO! I have let them down. I can't escape the terror of Tartarus. Compared to that I was powerless and I don't want to do it anymore! I can't fight because every time I do I see that pit. I see Annabeth getting farther and farther away, just out of reach! I see the blood of Tartarus! Nothing compares to being down there and nothing can take it away."

Percy was standing now swinging his arm wildly. "I have nothing left!" He screamed and swung his sword at the center mast. Chopping and slashing, tears flooding down his face as he attacked with ferocity. With each swing came a new burst of anger. "I can't save my friends!" he swung again, "I can't save Annabeth! I can't even stay on duty without having a mental breakdown!" Percy threw the sword as hard as he could across the deck and it spiraled into the sunk to his knees and pounded the deck with his fists. His voice ached with sorrow and fell to a whimper, "I just want to go home."

Percy fell silent as the last of his energy drained and returned to the blank stare at the deck. Jason sat criss cross next to Percy in the middle of the deck. The fire in his eyes dropped back to a cold wasteland and when he finally looked up they were empty.

"Don't tell, Annabeth okay?" Percy said.

"Never. Just between me and you. I got your back remember."

Percy relaxed a little and they both leaned back against the slashed mast. Jason looked up at the sword marks, "You're in for it. Bad boy supreme will turn you into the next taco Tuesday."

They both laughed, Percy still struggling through sniffles. He wiped the last of the tears off his face. "I thought you said you got my back, dude?" Percy joked.

Jason laughed. They sat in silence for a minute. Occasionally, Jason nudging Percy playfully with his shoulder to make sure he stayed in reality with him.

"You know, man. You really are stronger than all of us. You and Annabeth," Jason told him while flipping the gold coin from his sword through his fingers.

"Maybe I don't want to be anymore," Percy said with his head laying back against the wood mast.

Jason mimicked the pose and they both looked up, gazing at the stars still barely visible with the rising sun. "Maybe that's why I'm on this quest with you. Maybe you can rely on me for once..."

The voice Percy used was barely audible, "and when I stop needing you and the roles are reversed...I'll always have your back."

"You better, Jackson!" Jason laughed. As they sat there he noticed how comfortable and easy their conversation was. It all seemed natural.

"I'm sorry for that, dude. I just can't keep it in anymore. I'm glad it was you though. I can't tell Annabeth because I'm supposed to be protecting her," Percy admitted.

"You don't have to hide any of it from me. I'm here and even though we're both stuck on this ship and I'm forced to see you everyday, that doesn't mean I don't want to help you."

"Thanks, Jason."

The silence hung in the air again, but this time Jason understood where it came from. Hidden deep inside Percy, Tartarus would always be there.

"Jason? Can I ask you something?" Percy looked at him.

"Dude, after what I just saw I wouldn't try to stop you. If you hadn't noticed you can be kind of terrifying," Jason said trying to keep the mood light.

"It's just, maybe I do need someone else. Maybe I do need to let up sometimes...I can't save everybody. But maybe together we can. And right now, I'm not really up to saving anyone. Sometimes my loyalty goes too deep but if I knew someone, if I knew you were looking out for them maybe it wouldn't be so bad relaxing for a change. Maybe letting another child of the Big Three take over."

Jason wanted to hug Percy. To say _dude, I got everything under control. Don't worry._ But then again, there was something else a little terrified. But this was something Percy needed, his friend needed.

"Anything you want. Especially after what you've been through, Percy, just ask and I'm there."

There were a million things Percy could ask and he wanted to take all his responsibilities and give them to Jason, but there was still one thing on his mind. "Annabeth. Promise me you won't let her get away from me again."

A pause that seemed like hours.

"I swear on the river Styx," Jason said.

Percy grinned knowing that no matter what Annabeth would always be safe. As long as one of them were there to watch her. "Thanks, dude. And any chance we could leave the Poseidon and Zeus rivalry aside."

"Eh. sometimes it can be fun," Jason said and the both laughed before relaxing again, comfortably next to each other.

Percy slid closer to Jason slightly and turned to look him in the eye. "Bros?"

Jason looked back and confirmed, "Bros."

For a while they sat like that. Always conscious of the other next to them. Percy began to slowly drift off to sleep. Jason scooted closer and their shoulders touched just enough so Percy could lean his head on Jason. When he finally fell asleep Jason whispered, "I will always have your back."


End file.
